"Trust A Non Believer"
The Sophomore Album
Beginning where "I A.M. What I A.M." ended, I'm now dusting myself off after hitting rock bottom. Trying to figure out which way is up. Rushing to find myself again I end up searching in relationships, in others, turning toxic, hurting everyone in my way while pointing fingers at everyone except myself when things don't work out. Losing trust in others, in myself, and in the process. Under the realization of loss of family, of friends, of love, and a new found appreciation for how short life really is. I finally accept accountability, realize I am the problem and refocus my energy on chasing my goals. Trusting and believing in myself, although the destination is unknown, I must embark on this quest and prove to myself that I can do it, for me.
1. Good Days
April 21,2023
This intro is a transition between albums, coming off a album filled with self reflection over depression, anxiety and mental health, "I A.M. What I A.M", culminates in hitting rock bottom and trying to embrace everything that you have become. This transition into the album "Trust A Non Beleiver" acts as a new beginning of trying to have good days again, even though you don't know what they look like anymore. But you've already been through your worst moments, lost everyone included yourself on the way. Nothing can hurt you or hold you back anymore and you must try to be comfortable being yourself again.
2. B.U.T.T.E.R
November 7, 2023
Best. You. Think. That. Everything. Is. Real. This song sets the stage for the album, talking of lost love, struggles of growing up, inability to trust, and not knowing what is real in a world of fake people acting as if their lives are better than they actually are. And that we perpetuate these ideas by spreading them at the speed of the internet. This is also stating that the stories in the album aren't 100% fact, because I wrote some of the songs from alternate perspectives of situations I was going through.
3. Waiting. . .
November 15, 2023
Someone finally gives you a chance. But you end up waiting for them to love you, for you, when you are merely a shell of the person you used to be. Leading to getting strung along in a by someone you cared for. This presents the first default on trust, causing a slew of issues following your first attempt at finding love after hitting rock bottom. Leaving you to believe that this is just how present day dating is supposed to be.
4. Kick Back
November 22, 2023
Attempting a quick recovery from a relationship fallout, you want to get out again, try to have fun, try to party your problems away, and just have a night free of inhibitions. Looking for someone or something to replace that void left inside. But no matter how much you party, you never feel better.
5. Late Night
June 19, 2023
Partying inevitably leads you to meaningless sex with strangers you met on those nights. Displaying the mentality you go into one night stands with, the presumptuous nature of someone elses ill intent and attempting to justify your actions with a victim mentality. But you get hit with the reality of the situation knowing you are hurting someone else in the same ways that you have been hurt, but you continue on this cycle because it's what you've been taught by the ones you've loved.
6. Ex Tracts
November 29, 2023
Continuing with poor decision making and a grudge against the women who have hurt you, you continue to try to find replacements. But end up running from every situation you get in to, becoming like the same people that hurt you. Although fun and entertaining, sometimes leaving yourself in more sticky situations. Hurting the people you string along and innocent bystanders who happen to be those same people "Waiting" for them. But you only care about yourself.
7. Rollercoasting
December 7, 2023
The culmination of the victim mentality, blaming the women along the way, and taking zero accountability. But throughout the song realizing you're the problem by trying to find yourself in other women. Realizing that maybe one female may never be enough. Polygamy seems to be your only compromise to settling down because you don't know if you can fully entrust one person.
8. Trust A Non Believer
Jan 1, 2024
Trust is the only thing we have. You live and you learn, you can't hold on to baggage and bring that along with you in to other relationships. But you also can't allow yourself to be walked over. Hold the people accountable, go in with standards that must be upheld, and know that anyone willing to betray your trust does not belong in your life. Go in with trust, and allow someone to lose it. Rather than going in without trust and forcing someone to gain it.
9. She's A Lotus
(Aug 25, 2023)
After half the album of bashing the women who hurt you along the way and attempting to get your revenge on people who had no part in it. You realize that she was not the problem. She was not broken, she did what she could, she could have or should have probably left sooner. You realize you were not the only one struggling, but selfishly made everything about yourself. She is finally free, finally happy, and you can't help but be glad that you get to see her grow now that you are no longer drowning her with your problems.
10. Moonlight Stargazing
(July 4, 2023)
This song follows the realization that you have been demonizing the wrong individuals in your life, forcing blame on to others instead of being accountable for your role in the issues at hand. You realize you haven't been appreciative of the people you do have in your life. But sometimes it's too late and you are not given a chance to let people know just how important they are to you before they are gone.
11. A Loan
(Feb 28. 2023)
After losing someone important to you, you feel alone, but with having learned not to blame others for your actions in other songs. Instead you say you left me "A loan" and I must now repay it. Trying to give back to the people that have provided for you, been there when you needed them and having an apprecation and understanding that you are in control of what your energy goes into. Focus on personal growth and the well being of others around you, before it's too late.
12. On My Hustle
December 15, 2023
Not sure how to move forward and grow from here, we must keep hustling for the things we want in life rather than focusing on finding love, we must find purpose. There is no clear path, everyone will count you out, but you have to keep going despite the obstacles placed in front of you. Set goals, set milestones, work towards it, doesn't matter how you get there, just keep going!
13. Grew Too Much
(Oct 11, 2023)
This song is for the people who despite all the adversity, despite people downplaying your dream, are still out there working to get one step closer to their goal every day. People will criticize you for changing your mind, for maturing, for moving forward while they are stagnant. There will always be someone with an opinion, but only you know your path forward. The ones questioning you, are merely projecting.
14. Quest Unknown
December 22, 2023
Ending the album saying, If I lose everything while giving all I have to this dream, I can live with that. But I can't live with not trying. There's some questions better left unanswered, there's some challenges that require you to walk in blindly. There are plenty of roads you can take to the final destination. But the destination remains unknown as we continue on this journey...
